My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
