He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
did i walk over a car last night?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
