He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize