p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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