We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize