I want to stick my p in your. b.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
