he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
