I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
this will be a night to untag.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
