Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Screwed.edu
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
