my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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