i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
