he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
