Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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