I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
