just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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