last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
