You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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