we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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