I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
