Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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