Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
