no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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