based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I look better un-naked...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
