I just pynch a tree in the face
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
