i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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