she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
