Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I want to have your abortion
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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