how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
