Well apparently he's into motor boating.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
