I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
