ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
