no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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