I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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