we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
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I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You did what with his pubic hair?
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