While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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