Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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