He had one of those small greek statue penises
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
