Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I am spending my child support on dildos
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
