Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
