So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
A+ Viking dick
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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