did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I understand Curling. That high.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
