What did we do last night that was yellow?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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