No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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