You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
