his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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