CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
