dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
im having a threesome with these popsicles
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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