i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
