I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
