Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
