u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
