god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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