i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
