you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
my mouth tastes like poor choices
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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