Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
