the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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