Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
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I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
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Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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