I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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