It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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