i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
