is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
