Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
