The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
